The Group Chat: I Asked 5 Different Women Whether They Are The Best Version Of Themselves And If Not, Who They Want To Become

I’m over the moon with how much positive feedback I got from the first ‘The Group Chat’ post – I’m so glad so many of you enjoyed it!

The question I asked the chat this week was this: ‘Are you the best version of yourself? If not, who is the person you want to become?’

I chose this question because during lockdown especially, I’ve found myself reflecting on who I want to be, and what movements I’m making towards this (if any). For example, me writing for this blog and posting on my blog’s Instagram account has made me feel more creative, and the actions I’m taking every day in terms of conversations and motivation and hard work push me to do great things for myself. The question resulted in some interesting and surprisingly diverse answers. I found reading them actually quite inspiring and made me think a lot about my life and my own personal answer, which I’ll leave down below.

I hope you enjoy this as much as I did.

Person #1:
I feel like I’m constantly evolving as a person. I look back at who I was a year ago and realised I’ve changed so much! New experiences, different people coming into my life and pushing myself has allowed me to grow and become the person I am today. I’ve noticed that the people I meet in my life have can have an influence on how I see the world. Whether that person ends up having a positive or negative influence in my life, I still find something constructive to take from it and help mould myself as a person. Of course there are certain attributes I would like more or less of and there are days where I don’t feel that great but I’m so happy with the person I am now. I’ve become more spontaneous, more confident, more ambitious and hope that in a years’ time, I’m a better version of that.

Person #2:
I wouldn’t say I’m the best version of myself because I’m still learning and improving each day, but I always try to be the best version of myself, not only for me, but for the people that I care about. I try to make the very best out of all aspects of my life and look for new ways to improve; physically, intellectually and emotionally, no matter how small it may be. Looking ahead, the person I want to become is someone who is happy and successful.

Person #3:
Yes I would say I am the best version of myself in this moment, although I still have a lot of growing to do. I believe that there is always room for improvement and growth. I struggle with my confidence and continue to work on it, so I would want to become a stronger and confident person that doesn’t back down or is afraid of social situations. However, I would say that at the moment I am taking all the opportunities I can and am seizing the moment.

Person #4:
When I started writing the answer to this question, the first thing I thought of was an interview with Rihanna where she said she wanted to be “fierce” in 10 years’ time and, accordingly, a Rihanna song started playing on my speakers. Rihanna, in my opinion, already exemplifies the best version of fierceness, so imagining her aiming for that in 10 years’ time is astounding. I’ve obsessed over being the best version of myself; indulging into self-help books, watching ted-talks and often spending late nights debating quotes I found online, but at the end of the day I don’t think I can understand what being the best version is.

I know I’m unapologetically myself. I’m often told I’m brutally honest – borderline a bitch (or just “a bitch”, and I’ll happily take it). I pride myself on my style, my music taste, my work ethic and my somewhat logical way of thinking most of the time. I analyse and assess all my options, love to socialise, and always want to see my friends succeed. I’ve been told I’m mysterious yet a paradox. I take it all.

Sometimes there are limits I know I’m awfully raw about in my head: sometimes I’m quiet when everyone is social. I don’t always work out. I’m not as career driven as my peers, and I sometimes disregard my hobbies for the ease of picking up my phone instead. I’ve had limiting beliefs when applying for internships: analysing every line in a job description and scrutinising each skill needed for the application. At the beginning, I applied for everything. Over half a year later, I barely think I can secure any.

On the other hand, I know that everyone’s identity is partly built on others’ expectations; I never care about other people’s opinions or compare myself but hearing encouraging words about your own character and how people’s perception of you is shaped is somewhat touching, as it seems that they hold you in a higher regard than sometimes you yourself do.

So benchmarking success is hard. There is no road map to an ideal life, but I’m sure as hell am trying to form one. And am I the best version of myself? Maybe not right now, but I damn love how I am regardless.

Person #5:

It may sound pessimistic, but I’m not sure I’ll ever be the best version of myself – I think there are always little or big things you can change to make yourself a better person. For me, there’s two things I would like to change to become a better person of myself. The first is that I’ve got a tendency to give up because I see something and start panicking about whatever it is instead of actually seeing what I need to do and just doing it. I would like to not immediately jump to panicking about everything and not be so negative about needing to get things done. I would also like to be a better person by helping out in the community. I often say I would like to help there or do that but I never actually do it. Instead of not seeing it as a priority, I would like to help out and put myself forward more.

My answer:

I don’t think I’m quite where I want to be, but I think as much as I can be, I am the best version of myself. I could not be happier with the person I am becoming, if I’m completely honest.

I feel like with every day that goes past, I’m growing and learning more than I ever have. I’ve never felt so confident in myself, so passionate about what I’m doing, more strong and more powerful than I am right now. I’m learning to love myself and the person I am. I’m working more on myself during this quarantine than I ever have: I’m working out more, making me more confident in my body and making me feel great about myself. I’m writing more, developing my skills and getting more creative constantly. I’m generally working on myself, trying to build up a thick skin but still trying to do more kind and caring acts, especially when we need it the most.

I used to be so scared about people’s negative opinions (which I still am slightly) and I used to be so much more shy and reserved, but the transformation from the past few years, or even the past few months for me personally has be insane. I thrive from watching myself grow and conquer whatever’s in my way, and the more I feed off that, the more I want to put myself out there and do good things for myself.

The person I want to become is someone that tries not to overthink terribly (which I’m working on), someone who doesn’t care what others think when I’m doing what I love, someone who’s super confident, someone that’s successful and someone who can inspire others to do good in the world.

For that reason, I think I’ll always strive to be better each and every day, but for now, I honestly couldn’t be happier with the path I’m taking.

I hope you all enjoyed this post and I would love to hear your responses to this question. Leave them down below or in my DM’s or IG comments! Have an amazing day x

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